Reluctant Recovery

I’ve been sad all week.  My boyfriend and I broke up this weekend, and I am absolutely devastated.  I’m mad at him for not talking to me more about our issues before he got to the point where he believed breaking up was the only option, and I’m mad at myself for not doing things differently.  But mostly I am just heartbroken, because I thought I’d found the person I was going to be with forever.

I’ve never dealt with sadness soberly.  Alcohol is such a powerful and effective anesthetic that I’ve never had to.  Stressed?  Have a drink!  Anxious?  Have a drink!  Totally, utterly consumed by sorrow?  Well, now I can’t have a drink, and I’m having to deal with this pain in sobriety.  And it sucks.